May 19, 2006
· Filed under Uncategorized
As salaamu alaikum
I’ve been in a much more reflective mood as of late. I’m still getting ready for the wedding. However, I’ve also done more thinking on my role as a Muslimah. Lately, I’ve been feeling such a disconnect with other Muslims. It doesn’t matter whether they’re Sunni, Shia, Salafi (well, I never felt connected to them), “Progressive.” It’s like there are very few Muslims who I feel that I can ginuinely connect with. At this point, I don’t even claim a title for myself anymore. I’m not Sunni, traditional, moderate, liberal, feminist, or any other “type” of Muslim. Besides all those labels just go against the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) anyway. I feel like he’d be disappointed with all of us, including myself.
I’m at a point where I just can’t rely on Shaykhs or imams anymore. I respect their dedication to the deen but I realized that they can’t have all the answers. Expecting them to would just prevent me from seeking my own knowledge. Although the hadith about seeking knowledge from the cradle, et al. is considered to be a forged one, the principle is right. I just have to go on my own journey. It’s in my nature to be independent minded. Sometimes I feel as if I stiffled by the idea that I have rely on fatwas, ijmaa, fiqh books, etc. for every little thing. I don’t know why. At the same time, I don’t feel as if they’re totally useless. I think they’re good for guiding us but they can’t think for us. Ultimately, we have to be responsible for whatever decision we make. I just feel as if many of the Muslims I encounter aren’t at the point yet. I can explain a decision I made based on the Qu’ran and/or the Sunnah and yet I’m still getting “fatwas” from “esteemed” scholars stuffed down my throat as if they’re suppose to think for me! I think not.
Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 24, Number 3585: Narrated Mu’adh ibn Jabal:
Some companions of Mu’adh ibn Jabal said: When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) intended to send Mu’adh ibn Jabal to the Yemen, he asked: How will you judge when the occasion of deciding a case arises?
He replied: I shall judge in accordance with Allah’s Book. He asked: (What will you do) if you do not find any guidance in Allah’s Book? He replied: (I shall act) in accordance with the Sunnah of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
He asked: (What will you do) if you do not find any guidance in the Sunnah of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and in Allah’s Book?
He replied: I shall do my best to form an opinion and I shall spare no effort.
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) then patted him on the breast and said: Praise be to Allah Who has helped the messenger of the Apostle of Allah to find something which pleases the Apostle of Allah.
Free thinking is something that isn’t new to Islam yet it seems as if some Muslims think it is. I feel as if perhaps Allah (swt) is leading me to a new stage in my Islam.
May 19, 2006
· Filed under Islam
As salaamu alaikum
I’ve been in a much more reflective mood as of late. I’m still getting ready for the wedding. However, I’ve also done more thinking on my role as a Muslimah. Lately, I’ve been feeling such a disconnect with other Muslims. It doesn’t matter whether they’re Sunni, Shia, Salafi (well, I never felt connected to them), “Progressive.” It’s like there are very few Muslims who I feel that I can ginuinely connect with. At this point, I don’t even claim a title for myself anymore. I’m not Sunni, traditional, moderate, liberal, feminist, or any other “type” of Muslim. Besides all those labels just go against the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) anyway. I feel like he’d be disappointed with all of us, including myself.
I’m at a point where I just can’t rely on Shaykhs or imams anymore. I respect their dedication to the deen but I realized that they can’t have all the answers. Expecting them to would just prevent me from seeking my own knowledge. Although the hadith about seeking knowledge from the cradle, et al. is considered to be a forged one, the principle is right. I just have to go on my own journey. It’s in my nature to be independent minded. Sometimes I feel as if I stiffled by the idea that I have rely on fatwas, ijmaa, fiqh books, etc. for every little thing. I don’t know why. At the same time, I don’t feel as if they’re totally useless. I think they’re good for guiding us but they can’t think for us. Ultimately, we have to be responsible for whatever decision we make. I just feel as if many of the Muslims I encounter aren’t at the point yet. I can explain a decision I made based on the Qu’ran and/or the Sunnah and yet I’m still getting “fatwas” from “esteemed” scholars stuffed down my throat as if they’re suppose to think for me! I think not.
Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 24, Number 3585: Narrated Mu’adh ibn Jabal:
Some companions of Mu’adh ibn Jabal said: When the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) intended to send Mu’adh ibn Jabal to the Yemen, he asked: How will you judge when the occasion of deciding a case arises?
He replied: I shall judge in accordance with Allah’s Book. He asked: (What will you do) if you do not find any guidance in Allah’s Book? He replied: (I shall act) in accordance with the Sunnah of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him).
He asked: (What will you do) if you do not find any guidance in the Sunnah of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and in Allah’s Book?
He replied: I shall do my best to form an opinion and I shall spare no effort.
The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) then patted him on the breast and said: Praise be to Allah Who has helped the messenger of the Apostle of Allah to find something which pleases the Apostle of Allah.
Free thinking is something that isn’t new to Islam yet it seems as if some Muslims think it is. I feel as if perhaps Allah (swt) is leading me to a new stage in my Islam.
May 10, 2006
· Filed under married life, school
Sorry for not writing in what seems like an eternity
As salaamu alaikum! 
I know it’s been ages since I last wrote. I haven’t been keeping up with my online endeavors as much as I should.
The school year is over. Yay! I feel so free when school is not in session. The only pressing thing left to do with school is fill out my transfer apps. Actually, they’re already done. I just need to tweak my essay for Case. In case you’re wondering, I decided to apply to Case Western Reserve University and maybe Cleveland State (I’m not sure yet). I really want to attend Case. I think my chances are really good but I never like to get too sure of myself so of course, as with everything else, I do what I can and then leave the rest up to Allah (swt). I think Case would be a really good fit for me in terms of academic and extracurricular. Plus it’s close to my new home in Cleveland.
My new home is in Cleveland because on May 27th I’m getting married, Inshallah, to a wonderful brother from Cleveland. 
He already has the apartment and I’ll be moving there after the wedding and the honeymoon. I’m a little sad to be moving away from my umm and my family but at the same time I’m so excited to start this new life. I truly feel like Allah (swt) has blessed me so much in the past year. I feel like I’m really learning what’s important in life.
I use to think that my status, what schools I attended, my income, and so many other fleeting, superficial things were the key to my happiness. I know it sounds cliche but those things really can’t buy you happiness. The only thing that brings happiness is contentment and the only thing that brings contentment is being ok with whatever Allah (swt) gives you.
May 10, 2006
· Filed under married life, school
Sorry for not writing in what seems like an eternity
As salaamu alaikum! I know it’s been ages since I last wrote. I haven’t been keeping up with my online endeavors as much as I should.
The school year is over. Yay! I feel so free when school is not in session. The only pressing thing left to do with school is fill out my transfer apps. Actually, they’re already done. I just need to tweak my essay for Case. In case you’re wondering, I decided to apply to Case Western Reserve University and maybe Cleveland State (I’m not sure yet). I really want to attend Case. I think my chances are really good but I never like to get too sure of myself so of course, as with everything else, I do what I can and then leave the rest up to Allah (swt). I think Case would be a really good fit for me in terms of academic and extracurricular. Plus it’s close to my new home in Cleveland.
My new home is in Cleveland because on May 27th I’m getting married, Inshallah, to a wonderful brother from Cleveland. He already has the apartment and I’ll be moving there after the wedding and the honeymoon. I’m a little sad to be moving away from my umm and my family but at the same time I’m so excited to start this new life. I truly feel like Allah (swt) has blessed me so much in the past year. I feel like I’m really learning what’s important in life.
I use to think that my status, what schools I attended, my income, and so many other fleeting, superficial things were the key to my happiness. I know it sounds cliche but those things really can’t buy you happiness. The only thing that brings happiness is contentment and the only thing that brings contentment is being ok with whatever Allah (swt) gives you.
May 10, 2006
· Filed under married life, school
Sorry for not writing in what seems like an eternity
As salaamu alaikum! I know it’s been ages since I last wrote. I haven’t been keeping up with my online endeavors as much as I should.
The school year is over. Yay! I feel so free when school is not in session. The only pressing thing left to do with school is fill out my transfer apps. Actually, they’re already done. I just need to tweak my essay for Case. In case you’re wondering, I decided to apply to Case Western Reserve University and maybe Cleveland State (I’m not sure yet). I really want to attend Case. I think my chances are really good but I never like to get too sure of myself so of course, as with everything else, I do what I can and then leave the rest up to Allah (swt). I think Case would be a really good fit for me in terms of academic and extracurricular. Plus it’s close to my new home in Cleveland.
My new home is in Cleveland because on May 27th I’m getting married, Inshallah, to a wonderful brother from Cleveland. He already has the apartment and I’ll be moving there after the wedding and the honeymoon. I’m a little sad to be moving away from my umm and my family but at the same time I’m so excited to start this new life. I truly feel like Allah (swt) has blessed me so much in the past year. I feel like I’m really learning what’s important in life.
I use to think that my status, what schools I attended, my income, and so many other fleeting, superficial things were the key to my happiness. I know it sounds cliche but those things really can’t buy you happiness. The only thing that brings happiness is contentment and the only thing that brings contentment is being ok with whatever Allah (swt) gives you.
