Just when you thought that kidnapping, child slavery and the like were suppose to be history, an event always occurs to remind us that this is not so and to remind us why we have to fight the good fight. In Chad, sixteen Europeans, nine of whom were French, were arrested for attempting to kidnap children from Chad. Some of the children were not orphans and appear to have been kidnapped from families in Chad. They face five to 20 years if found guilty. I am so glad that Chadian women took to the streets to protest this. The reason given by one of the wives of the kidnappers for this crime is this: “They were rescuing children from Darfur, and the only thing they wanted was to give these children a better life. That’s it. This is the only aim of this operation.” Here we go again with using the white man’s burden to justify exploitation of non-Western people. When will it end?
Chad Child Kidnapping
Archive for October, 2007
October 31, 2007 · Filed under gender issues, social issues
Chad Child Kidnapping
October 31, 2007 · Filed under gender issues, racism, social issues
Just when you thought that kidnapping, child slavery and the like were suppose to be history, an event always occurs to remind us that this is not so and to remind us why we have to fight the good fight. In Chad, sixteen Europeans, nine of whom were French, were arrested for attempting to kidnap children from Chad. Some of the children were not orphans and appear to have been kidnapped from families in Chad. They face five to 20 years if found guilty. I am so glad that Chadian women took to the streets to protest this. The reason given by one of the wives of the kidnappers for this crime is this: “They were rescuing children from Darfur, and the only thing they wanted was to give these children a better life. That’s it. This is the only aim of this operation.” Here we go again with using the white man’s burden to justify exploitation of non-Western people. When will it end?
October 18, 2007 · Filed under Islam, gender issues, social issues
“We will set up a partition”
We missed the jamat but the masjid was open. Ok, let me rephrase that. The brother’s door was open but not the sisters door. Before, I go further, let me explain what I mean. This masjid and many others have separate entrances for men and women. So once they get inside the masjid they pretty much don’t have any contact with each other until they leave the masjid. I waited for my husband to open the sisters’ door from the inside since at least one brother took an issue with me being in the brothers musalla a while ago (the door to the sister’s musalla appeared to be locked so I needed someone to open it…the brother in question still seemed upset though). Once I got in, I realized that the door to the sisters’ musalla really was locked this time. So I had no choice but to pray in the brothers’ musalla. I didn’t mind that at all. In fact, I thought it was a good thing since I don’t think there is any real reason, especially during the daily prayers, to make sisters pray in different rooms. I mean there is usually more than enough space and there is nothing in the Prophet’s (saws) Sunnah to indicate that this is what he did. In fact, sisters routinely prayed in the Prophet’s mosque during his life with any partition. They didn’t pray in a different room. They were allowed to be full and active members of the mosque community. I want to keep this point in mind as I continue my story.
When I went into the musalla, I noticed a partition. At first, it didn’t quite hit me that the partition was for me. Looking at the musalla from the hallway, I thought that perhaps someone had moved the partition and simply moved it to the side. However, once I went into the musalla, I realized that the partition was for yours truly. My husband told me afterwards that a brother had set up the partition when he told the brother that I was making salat as well. The brother said “Ok, we’ll set up a partition” (hence, the title of this post). Also, there wasn’t much space for me either. I guess I didn’t need much space but my husband and the brother against the wall reading his book (I took a “peak” to see the other side) needed about 90% of the musalla to pray and read. So I prayed and tried to remember that the salat is for Allah (swt) and that Allah doesn’t take note if my salat was done behind a partition. However, praying behind the partition made me more upset than actually praying in a different room because that partition actually made me realize that I was truly being separated. I’ve taken issue with women being separated from the jamat for sometime now but whenever I go to very “conservative” (for lack of a better term) masajid I go to the women’s area without much issue. The partition though just made me realized how far this attitude to women is. Gender injustice exists in so many parts of our societies (Western and Muslim). I think that before God at least, we should be equal. Yet, when women are forced to pray behind partitions or in different rooms, when there is clearly no need for it, it’s as if we’re saying that ultimately women will ultimately maintain a second class position. It’s a second class, subjugated position that I don’t think women in the Prophet’s time maintained. I don’t want to make it seem as if women in the formative age of Islam had it perfect and didn’t suffer from gender injustice and misogyny. However, I do think they would be rather surprised at the treatment of Muslim today. The irony of it all is that women are often members of masjid boards, even at the masjid in question. Women pray behind their husbands without partitions in the same room at home and some husbands even pray with their wives shoulder to shoulder (I know there is one madhab that does allow this but I can’t remember which one off the top of my head). Yet, when we come to the mosque we are forced to pray in different rooms or with partitions?
I know some of your reading this will think “well, the salat is for Allah and it shouldn’t matter.” Yes, I agree the salat is ultimately for Allah and we should do it for His pleasure. However, we know there are other reasons for congregational salat. The Prophet told us about about the merits of praying together verses praying alone. “The congregational Salat is twenty-seven times superior in degrees to the Salat (prayer) offered by a person alone” (Bukhari, 1/618). Obviously, congregational salat offers some type of benefit to the community. It serves to brings a cohesion and bonding to the community. If it didn’t, then why would the Prophet encourage us to pray in jamat as much as possible? Now, I am familar with the hadeeth that states that the prayer of women is more rewarded at home than in the masjid. I’m not refuting that and in fact, I don’t think it has any bearing on my point at all. Even though a woman’s salat maybe more rewarded when she does it at home, that doesn’t mean we should make women pray in separate musallas, pray behind partition, or worse yet, make masajid that have no accommodations for women (the same hadeeth that tells women their prayers are more rewarded at home also says not to bar women from the masjid). In the Prophet’s time we know that women regularly went to the masjid. We know that they prayed behind men without a partition and we know that they were very vocal both in the masjid and outside of it. Even during ‘Umar’s (ra) caliphate, we know that women still had a voice in the masjid and I’m going to assume, were not praying behind a partition all the time despite evidence that says slight partitions (ropes) were implemented some time during his caliphate. ‘Umar was giving a khutbah and suggested that mahr (dowry) be eliminated because the ummah was in economic straits. A woman in the jamat was not happy with this idea at all. She reminded him that mahr was an obligation placed on men by Allah (swt) and suggested that instead of eliminating it, that it should be postponed until the husband could pay it. This practice of postponing the mahr is still in use today by many couples. My point in raising this story is to show how women were not barred from being full, active members of the community and the masjid. How we regressed from this point in Islamic history is the focus of much scholarship and not the point of this post. The post of this post is that we need to get back to the attitude of the Prophet (saws) and his Sahabah (ra) without making any excuses. We need to focus once more on realizing the egalitarian spirit of the Qur’an towards women without making excuses. The Qur’an addresses women as well as men on multiple occasions. It also frequently mentions how oppression is worse than slaughter. I feel that we often forget this when discussing women, especially in regards to their place in the masjid.
"We will set up a partition"
October 18, 2007 · Filed under Islam, gender issues, social issues
We missed the jamat but the masjid was open. Ok, let me rephrase that. The brother’s door was open but not the sisters door. Before, I go further, let me explain what I mean. This masjid and many others have separate entrances for men and women. So once they get inside the masjid they pretty much don’t have any contact with each other until they leave the masjid. I waited for my husband to open the sisters’ door from the inside since at least one brother took an issue with me being in the brothers musalla a while ago (the door to the sister’s musalla appeared to be locked so I needed someone to open it…the brother in question still seemed upset though). Once I got in, I realized that the door to the sisters’ musalla really was locked this time. So I had no choice but to pray in the brothers’ musalla. I didn’t mind that at all. In fact, I thought it was a good thing since I don’t think there is any real reason, especially during the daily prayers, to make sisters pray in different rooms. I mean there is usually more than enough space and there is nothing in the Prophet’s (saws) Sunnah to indicate that this is what he did. In fact, sisters routinely prayed in the Prophet’s mosque during his life with any partition. They didn’t pray in a different room. They were allowed to be full and active members of the mosque community. I want to keep this point in mind as I continue my story.
When I went into the musalla, I noticed a partition. At first, it didn’t quite hit me that the partition was for me. Looking at the musalla from the hallway, I thought that perhaps someone had moved the partition and simply moved it to the side. However, once I went into the musalla, I realized that the partition was for yours truly. My husband told me afterwards that a brother had set up the partition when he told the brother that I was making salat as well. The brother said “Ok, we’ll set up a partition” (hence, the title of this post). Also, there wasn’t much space for me either. I guess I didn’t need much space but my husband and the brother against the wall reading his book (I took a “peak” to see the other side) needed about 90% of the musalla to pray and read. So I prayed and tried to remember that the salat is for Allah (swt) and that Allah doesn’t take note if my salat was done behind a partition. However, praying behind the partition made me more upset than actually praying in a different room because that partition actually made me realize that I was truly being separated. I’ve taken issue with women being separated from the jamat for sometime now but whenever I go to very “conservative” (for lack of a better term) masajid I go to the women’s area without much issue. The partition though just made me realized how far this attitude to women is. Gender injustice exists in so many parts of our societies (Western and Muslim). I think that before God at least, we should be equal. Yet, when women are forced to pray behind partitions or in different rooms, when there is clearly no need for it, it’s as if we’re saying that ultimately women will ultimately maintain a second class position. It’s a second class, subjugated position that I don’t think women in the Prophet’s time maintained. I don’t want to make it seem as if women in the formative age of Islam had it perfect and didn’t suffer from gender injustice and misogyny. However, I do think they would be rather surprised at the treatment of Muslim today. The irony of it all is that women are often members of masjid boards, even at the masjid in question. Women pray behind their husbands without partitions in the same room at home and some husbands even pray with their wives shoulder to shoulder (I know there is one madhab that does allow this but I can’t remember which one off the top of my head). Yet, when we come to the mosque we are forced to pray in different rooms or with partitions?
I know some of your reading this will think “well, the salat is for Allah and it shouldn’t matter.” Yes, I agree the salat is ultimately for Allah and we should do it for His pleasure. However, we know there are other reasons for congregational salat. The Prophet told us about about the merits of praying together verses praying alone. “The congregational Salat is twenty-seven times superior in degrees to the Salat (prayer) offered by a person alone” (Bukhari, 1/618). Obviously, congregational salat offers some type of benefit to the community. It serves to brings a cohesion and bonding to the community. If it didn’t, then why would the Prophet encourage us to pray in jamat as much as possible? Now, I am familar with the hadeeth that states that the prayer of women is more rewarded at home than in the masjid. I’m not refuting that and in fact, I don’t think it has any bearing on my point at all. Even though a woman’s salat maybe more rewarded when she does it at home, that doesn’t mean we should make women pray in separate musallas, pray behind partition, or worse yet, make masajid that have no accommodations for women (the same hadeeth that tells women their prayers are more rewarded at home also says not to bar women from the masjid). In the Prophet’s time we know that women regularly went to the masjid. We know that they prayed behind men without a partition and we know that they were very vocal both in the masjid and outside of it. Even during ‘Umar’s (ra) caliphate, we know that women still had a voice in the masjid and I’m going to assume, were not praying behind a partition all the time despite evidence that says slight partitions (ropes) were implemented some time during his caliphate. ‘Umar was giving a khutbah and suggested that mahr (dowry) be eliminated because the ummah was in economic straits. A woman in the jamat was not happy with this idea at all. She reminded him that mahr was an obligation placed on men by Allah (swt) and suggested that instead of eliminating it, that it should be postponed until the husband could pay it. This practice of postponing the mahr is still in use today by many couples. My point in raising this story is to show how women were not barred from being full, active members of the community and the masjid. How we regressed from this point in Islamic history is the focus of much scholarship and not the point of this post. The post of this post is that we need to get back to the attitude of the Prophet (saws) and his Sahabah (ra) without making any excuses. We need to focus once more on realizing the egalitarian spirit of the Qur’an towards women without making excuses. The Qur’an addresses women as well as men on multiple occasions. It also frequently mentions how oppression is worse than slaughter. I feel that we often forget this when discussing women, especially in regards to their place in the masjid.
October 16, 2007 · Filed under social issues
My Interracial Relationship
My husband is Black and White but looks Indo-Pakistani or Arab or even Latino (depending on who’s looking at him). When we first started talking, I mistakenly assumed that he was Pakistani as well. I’ll be honest and admit when one of my mother’s friends suggested that we talk, I was slightly hesitant because of what I thought was his race/ethinicity, in addition to other issues. However, when we started talking, any doubts flew out the window. I think this is also due to my upbringing as a Muslimah. The Prophet (saws) himself, spoke out against racism in some hadeeth (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad). If I believe in the universal ideals of Islam, how can I be against marrying someone, simply because he is not the same race as me?
My family had no issues with me marrying him. In fact, my mother loves him. I think every bride would want her family to love her husband the way my mom loves my husband. His family also had no issues with it.
The only time our skin hues ever seem to be an issue is when we get the occasional stares and vulgar remark from some people on the street . Some are black, some are white, some are Indo-Pakistani. They are annoying and ignorant but nothing to lose sleep over. Reading some of the blogs made me think about my relationship with my husband and why I had no issue with being in an IR.
As I discussed earlier, I believe that Islam has universal ideals. For me, the biggest factor in choosing my spouse was his taqwa or piety. Only Allah knows for sure anyone’s taqwa but my perception of his piety was important. So choosing that as my number one factor in picking my spouse helped to not make race an issue. Also, other things like educational attainment and the ability to take care of me, were things that I considered.
When I began to talk with my husband, I did feel some slight guilt. There was a thought in the back of my mind that “I was giving up on black men” and “that I had officially sold out”. I’ve been dealing with the “sell-out” issue for most of my life. People have told me things like “You talk like a white girl”, “You like white people’s ________ (insert your choice of music, sports, books, etc.)”, “You’re not like all the other black people I know (Guess who said that to me?)”. I’ve even been called an oreo because I just could not fit into that definition of what a black girl/woman is suppose to be (whatever the hell that is?!). Also, I’ve been attracted to various men for as long as I can remember. White, black, Arab, Indo-Pakistani, Latino, etc. I just have. To be honest, most of the men who I have been attracted to have not been black.
There was a time when I thought that I needed to only consider black men (who were Muslims obviously) for marriage in order to prove that I really wasn’t a “sell-out” or had issues with being black. In reality, I didn’t have issues with being black, but because I didn’t fit the assumptions of what a black woman should be, various people (both black and white but mostly black) made me feel like I did have issues with being black.
However, this didn’t prove as easy as I thought it would be. When I was “looking” for a spouse, I was living in Philly at the time and the pool of black Muslim men was not very different from the pool of black non-Muslim men. A considerable number of the black Muslim men I encountered had issues and Islam actually seemed to make their issues worse. Islam became an excuse for some of these men to be misogynistic, not obtain an education or job (because they were spending so much of their time in the masjid and reading books by Shaykh ________ [insert name]), and just be damaged beyond repair (DBR). I would encounter brothers who thought it was wrong for me to go to college, to not wear niqab (despite giving adequate reasoning why I’m not required to do so), to have a job, to wear “Western” (anything that isn’t a jilbab or overgarment) clothes and more. Some of these brothers wanted me to have lots of children and stay at home despite not having the financial resources to maintain this lifestyle and my desire to actually finish my BA at least (I intend, insha’Allah, to get a MA and Ph.D.). I know that all of those brothers had issues with women before they converted but “Islam” gave them an outlet to express these issues. Basically, the marriage pool of Muslim black men didn’t prove that different from the marriage pool of non-Muslim black men. If you’ve taken a Sociology course or simply read articles in Black women magazines, you know that the number of marriageable black men is not high. This in turn leads to a “marriage crunch” for black women.
I wonder if this lead me back to considering men who aren’t black. Sometimes I wonder, if in the back of my mind, I unconsciously made a decision to not marry or even consider black men based on past experiences and also stereotypes. I told my husband recently that maybe I knew that I would never marry a black man. 99% of the the time, this does not bother because I am proud of being black and will be the first one to defend black men. However, that 1% of the time, I still wonder if I gave into stereotypes and gave up on black men.
I wonder why I occasionally feel this “guilt”. Actually, I don’t think it’s guilt. I mean if I had to do it all over again, I would marry my husband in a heartbeat. I also don’t feel guilty about writing what I just wrote about black men. I guess what I’m afraid is putting black men into a “box”. That’s not what I want to do and that’s not my intention at all. I know what it’s like to be put in a box and I don’t want to do that to anyone.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope my attraction to men of other races and lack of attraction for black men in general is just due to my taste and not “issues” I have. I certain that it’s due to my taste but posts like this help me to make sure of that.
My Interracial Relationship
October 16, 2007 · Filed under social issues
My husband is Black and White but looks Indo-Pakistani or Arab or even Latino (depending on who’s looking at him). When we first started talking, I mistakenly assumed that he was Pakistani as well. I’ll be honest and admit when one of my mother’s friends suggested that we talk, I was slightly hesitant because of what I thought was his race/ethinicity, in addition to other issues. However, when we started talking, any doubts flew out the window. I think this is also due to my upbringing as a Muslimah. The Prophet (saws) himself, spoke out against racism in some hadeeth (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad). If I believe in the universal ideals of Islam, how can I be against marrying someone, simply because he is not the same race as me?
My family had no issues with me marrying him. In fact, my mother loves him. I think every bride would want her family to love her husband the way my mom loves my husband. His family also had no issues with it.
The only time our skin hues ever seem to be an issue is when we get the occasional stares and vulgar remark from some people on the street . Some are black, some are white, some are Indo-Pakistani. They are annoying and ignorant but nothing to lose sleep over. Reading some of the blogs made me think about my relationship with my husband and why I had no issue with being in an IR.
As I discussed earlier, I believe that Islam has universal ideals. For me, the biggest factor in choosing my spouse was his taqwa or piety. Only Allah knows for sure anyone’s taqwa but my perception of his piety was important. So choosing that as my number one factor in picking my spouse helped to not make race an issue. Also, other things like educational attainment and the ability to take care of me, were things that I considered.
When I began to talk with my husband, I did feel some slight guilt. There was a thought in the back of my mind that “I was giving up on black men” and “that I had officially sold out”. I’ve been dealing with the “sell-out” issue for most of my life. People have told me things like “You talk like a white girl”, “You like white people’s ________ (insert your choice of music, sports, books, etc.)”, “You’re not like all the other black people I know (Guess who said that to me?)”. I’ve even been called an oreo because I just could not fit into that definition of what a black girl/woman is suppose to be (whatever the hell that is?!). Also, I’ve been attracted to various men for as long as I can remember. White, black, Arab, Indo-Pakistani, Latino, etc. I just have. To be honest, most of the men who I have been attracted to have not been black.
There was a time when I thought that I needed to only consider black men (who were Muslims obviously) for marriage in order to prove that I really wasn’t a “sell-out” or had issues with being black. In reality, I didn’t have issues with being black, but because I didn’t fit the assumptions of what a black woman should be, various people (both black and white but mostly black) made me feel like I did have issues with being black.
However, this didn’t prove as easy as I thought it would be. When I was “looking” for a spouse, I was living in Philly at the time and the pool of black Muslim men was not very different from the pool of black non-Muslim men. A considerable number of the black Muslim men I encountered had issues and Islam actually seemed to make their issues worse. Islam became an excuse for some of these men to be misogynistic, not obtain an education or job (because they were spending so much of their time in the masjid and reading books by Shaykh ________ [insert name]), and just be damaged beyond repair (DBR). I would encounter brothers who thought it was wrong for me to go to college, to not wear niqab (despite giving adequate reasoning why I’m not required to do so), to have a job, to wear “Western” (anything that isn’t a jilbab or overgarment) clothes and more. Some of these brothers wanted me to have lots of children and stay at home despite not having the financial resources to maintain this lifestyle and my desire to actually finish my BA at least (I intend, insha’Allah, to get a MA and Ph.D.). I know that all of those brothers had issues with women before they converted but “Islam” gave them an outlet to express these issues. Basically, the marriage pool of Muslim black men didn’t prove that different from the marriage pool of non-Muslim black men. If you’ve taken a Sociology course or simply read articles in Black women magazines, you know that the number of marriageable black men is not high. This in turn leads to a “marriage crunch” for black women.
I wonder if this lead me back to considering men who aren’t black. Sometimes I wonder, if in the back of my mind, I unconsciously made a decision to not marry or even consider black men based on past experiences and also stereotypes. I told my husband recently that maybe I knew that I would never marry a black man. 99% of the the time, this does not bother because I am proud of being black and will be the first one to defend black men. However, that 1% of the time, I still wonder if I gave into stereotypes and gave up on black men.
I wonder why I occasionally feel this “guilt”. Actually, I don’t think it’s guilt. I mean if I had to do it all over again, I would marry my husband in a heartbeat. I also don’t feel guilty about writing what I just wrote about black men. I guess what I’m afraid is putting black men into a “box”. That’s not what I want to do and that’s not my intention at all. I know what it’s like to be put in a box and I don’t want to do that to anyone.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope my attraction to men of other races and lack of attraction for black men in general is just due to my taste and not “issues” I have. I certain that it’s due to my taste but posts like this help me to make sure of that.
