Have you ever had a time when you just couldn’t think of anything useful, new, interesting, etc.? I feel this way right now. I just can’t think. I’m wondering how the heck I’m going to get through the papers and the projects that are due these next three weeks because my brain is fried. Six years of college and my brain is fried.
In addition to brain death, my iman has been so low for the longest. Perhaps it’s the sociology courses that have made me think humanity is one big mess that I should always be cynical of, maybe it’s the feeling that all the rituals I do are just becoming rituals and nothing more, maybe it’s all the blogs I read that make me want to throw darts at so many people. I don’t know. Ok, I do know. It’s the disappointment with Muslims and people in general. I just feel like my anger at the lack of social justice actually made me forget God or perhaps even angry at God and that’s not good. You should never be angry at God. My soul’s gas tank is almost on zero. So basically, I’ve taken a step back from my blog and blogs in general. I just need to patch up my relationship with Allah and with myself. I need to enjoy my husband, my family, and my cat and Spring. Basically, I need to let Faith enjoy the blessings of Allah, the simple pleasures of life and not always feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and that no one is there to help me. It’s been getting better. I’ve been feeling happier, enjoying my hubby and the cat, and most importantly, patching things up with Allah.
So my posts on the blog will probably be slim to nothing for a while. I apologize for that but I need this time. I just feel that if I feel like a mess then how can I comment on the issues surrounding me? I’ve got to get my house in order first.
