Archive for May, 2008

Love and meaningful marriages aren’t Western imports


This past week, I was going through my daily Google Reader morning session (ah, the joys of not having class for the moment) and saw Tariq Nelson’s post on marriage among American Muslims. In Muslim circles, especially traditional, conservative ones, marriage is talked about a lot and talked about pretty early. One problem that is starting to occur among American Muslims though is unstable marriages and this has also gotten more attention in Muslim circles. The Muslim Alliance of North America (MANA) has a task force dedicated to creating healthier marriages among African American Muslims. The post I referenced earlier discusses a Washington Post article that discusses the difficulties in the marriage system of American Muslims. For instance, how do you get to know a prospective spouse without “dating”?

As I read the comments on Tariq’s blog, I was disturbed by some comments which suggested that marriage is for sex and that love shouldn’t play a role in Muslim marriages. For these commentators, marriage served primarily as a legal outlet for sex and nothing else. One commentator even went so far as to say: “Our ulamaa have told us that the object of marriage is permissible sex and this is the meaning of “love” when it comes to marriage.” I have to beg to differ with any scholar or Muslim who thinks this is the only objective of marriage. Yes, sex is part of marriage but is it the primary objective? Love has been part of marriages in the Muslim world since the time of the Prophet (saws) until the present. Allah acknowledges the love between spouses in 30:21. The Prophet (saws) had much love for his wives. The Taj Mahal is one of the greatest testimonies to love. Many of Umm Kulthum’s songs are about love, both fulfilling and heartbreaking. Love has been part of the Muslim world just as it has been part of the Western world.

The view that marriage is a contract that allows a man to fulfill his sexual urges reeks of sexism and even misogyny because it objectifies women and turn them into sex objects not worthy of actual, meaningful adult relationships. In fact, it’s harmful to men as well. This view of marriage dehumanizes both partners. There are animals who have monogamous, sexual relationships. If marriage is nothing more than that then how are we different from them? This view of marriage reduces marriage to nothing better than casual sex made on a more frequent basis. It’s a view of a marriage that I wholeheartedly reject and that I urge other Muslims to reject as well.

I’ve been married for two years and I see my marriage as a partnership. My husband is my life partner. He is my best friend. There is so much more to my marriage than sex. I knew from the beginning that I needed a partner who I could talk to about the deen, philosophy, politics, music, whatever. I needed someone for more than sex. Yes, love managed to get into the equation. I love my husband. No, it’s not un-Islamic, it’s not Western. I think it’s a beautiful and it’s the glue to not only my relationship but numerous relationships around the globe in every culture, Muslim and non-Muslim.

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Tama: the stationmaster



This stationmaster is too cute!

In times of need, Japanese say they can even ask the cat for help. In this town in western Japan, people look to Tama, a nine-year-old cat working as master of an unmanned train station.

The tortoiseshell coloured creature, born and raised at Kishi Station on the provincial Kishigawa Line, wears a formal uniform cap of Wakayama Electric Railway and calmly watches passing passengers who greet her.

The company feeds her in lieu of salary.

Tama was born from a stray cat brought to the station by a cleaner and kept by Toshiko Koyama, a local who runs a grocery store next door.

The station went unmanned in April 2006 as the line was losing money. But Tama stuck around.

She rose to national stardom in January 2007 as the railway company formally appointed her as “stationmaster”.

Her appointment had an immediately positive effect, boosting the number of passengers using the line in January by 17 percent from a year earlier.

For the year to March 2007, the number of passengers rose to 2.1 million, up 10 percent from the previous 12 months, according to Yamaki.

Adorable, ain’t she?

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Cairo Hyatt no longer sells alcohol…this must be…

…a sign of the growing Saudi conspiracy that is taking over the Muslim world! Or so it appears in this BBC article. Nevermind, that all Muslims are instructed by the Qur’an not to drink. [sarcasm]Maybe the Saudis have a more strict version of the Qur’an.[/sarcasm] I’m sorry but that article is crap and I’m really tired of these covertly islamophobic articles that pop up on the BBC’s site like every other day. One sentence is given to the position of the supporters of the move while the rest of the article discusses the position of the opponents of the move. From the article, you would think that Egypt’s tourism industry is built on having alcohol available to Western tourists in their hotels. I guess the Nile, the Pyramids, the Sphinx, the tomb of Hussein, Muhammad Ali’s mosque, and more are just footnotes in Egypt’s tourism industry. If all the hotels in Cairo stopped serving alcohol (which they haven’t by the way), then apparently all the Western tourists would stop coming to Cairo because they couldn’t drink. This would be utterly disrespectful to Western tourists according to the article: “But critics say just as Muslims expect to be served Halal food on international flights, they should be prepared to respect the desires of their Western guests (I like how no “critics” are actually named btw).” Yes, because religious dietary laws are definitely on the same footing as the optional luxury to drink. *rolls eyes*

Please spare me this ethnocentric crap. Just like I have to contend with the grocery stores in the US that sell beer and wine because I live in a society where it’s sold, sometimes non-Muslims will have to contend with not having alcohol available if they’re in a society where alcohol is prohibited. Is it really so horrible if a bunch of Europeans and Americans won’t be able to drink in their five star hotel for a two week holiday?

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Women locked up in their homes

I saw this on Muslimah Media Watch. Some women in Saudi are locked in their homes during the day by their husbands. I’m sorry but this is definitely domestic abuse. Even if he doesn’t hit or strike her this is still domestic abuse and terror since these husbands are exerting control over their wives in such a horrible way. May Allah help these women.

For 30-year-old housewife Marwa, imprisonment starts every day when her husband goes to work. He keeps her locked inside. Marwa says she doesn’t even have an escape route, which would be tragic in the event of a fire.

“My husband says he’s worried I might be fooled by some thieves into opening the door,” she said. “He says it’s for my own safety.”

According to Saudi Civil Defense spokesman Gen. Tamer Al-Harthy, this is not a unique situation. “Every months we encounter two or three cases where there are people locked inside a house,” he said.

“These people can’t escape even through the window because most homes have iron security bars.”

In case of a fire even a minute’s delay could be the difference between life and death, said the Civil Defense spokesman. “We urge against locking family or servants inside the homes.”

However, if you “consent” to being locked up, the police can’t help you. I really want to know what constitutes consent btw.

Umm Adnan says that while she disagrees with this domestic policy, she consents to it.

“I’ve tried to convince my husband that there could be a fire, or the kids might get sick, but he doesn’t listen,” said Umm Adnan.

“I don’t want to fight with him, so I agree.”

Police official AbuBakr Ebrahim Al-Abdaly, of Jeddah’s Al-Balad police station, says there are no laws against locking people inside their homes if they consent to it.

“If the wife consents willingly then the law cannot interfere,” he said. “But if she is being threatened or beaten, or locked by force then it is against the law. And it should be reported to the police.”

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graduation…a reflection

Alhamdulillah! Commencement is taking place in four days and I have arrived at this point with my brain and my sanity in tact. Anyone who knows me really well, knows that it took a lot for me to get here. In the past six years, there has been a few up and downs both personally and academically but I’ve come out on top. I feel more confident than ever. I’m graduating with honors.

Although in a lot of ways, college was hard, I’m glad that I went. I know it sounds cliche but college really helped to think critically about life. It helped me to think more critically about religion, race, gender, class and so much more. College has taught me that life is very nuanced, more nuanced than most people claim it to be. College has helped me to be more aware. College was the first place where I was exposed to feminism. Before college, I really didn’t think about gender much. I didn’t really think about class much either. So I send a big shout out to all the Gender Studies professors and the Sociology professors I had over the course of my college career who made me think about those issues more critically.

I also think about Islam more critically and I feel that I am so much better for it. During these last two years especially, I have learned about the rich intellectual tradition in Islam-the intellectual tradition that is unfortunately downplayed or not discussed often among traditional Muslims. I’ve also learned to think differently about the importance of gender in Islam. I’ve gotten away from the pretty slogan and learned to reflect on my role as a woman in Islam.

I thank college for all those things and I hope that during my lifetime, I will be able to impart all those things to whoever I meet in my life.

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Iron Man: a culturally sensitive review


This past semester (yep, it’s in the past now because grades are in), a professor said that she didn’t enjoy going to the movies much because she could always see these covert messages being sent in a film. At first, I had no idea what she meant. However, I have lately begun to see exactly what she means and I saw it most with the film Iron Man starring Robert Downey Jr., Gweneyth Paltrow, and Terrence Howard. I went to see the film with my husband this weekend. The audience for the film was a mixture. Right in front of us was a white family that consisted of a mother, four boys, and one girl. They seemed to enjoy it especially one little boys who sat in front of my husband. One scene where Iron Man killed Afghan terrorists made him jump out of his seat. Of course, there’s the whole idea of masculinity that could be discussed in that scene and in the boy’s reaction to that scene but that’s not the point of this post. For now I just want to focus on cultural messages in the film.

The first thing that leaped out at me in the film was the mixing up of cultures. The movie starts in Afghanistan. The future Iron Man is kidnapped by terrorists. When the terrorists start speaking, my husband and I notice immediately that they’re speaking Arabic. I had no idea that Arabic was now one of the official languages of Afghanistan. Maybe that’s because its isn’t. The fact that they made the characters speak Arabic instead of Pashto, Dari, or any of the other languages spoken in Afghanistan shows not only an ignorance of the Afghan people but also the really bad habit of equating Muslims with Arab culture. Now, I know Arabic is spoken by a really small percentage of Afghans but I doubt that is why writers of the film had the characters speaking Arabic. I can only imagine the director or producer saying “Well, the characters are in Afghanistan so we’ll make them speak Arabic! No one will know the difference!” For a film that cost millions of dollars to make, you would think the studio could have hired one person to google the languages most commonly spoken in the region and hired another person to actually find actors who can speak them.

The second issue I took with the film is that Iron Man’s epiphany about his weapons often come at the expense of the people of color in his film. As he is held hostage, he is taken by his captors to their stockpile of weapons. He see his company’s logo on their weapons and he has an epiphany. He realizes that his weapons are being used by the “bad guys”. His fellow captive, a man whose nationality remains a mystery throughout his brief time in the film, tells him how the shrapnel that enters the bodies of his fellow villagers, kills them in a week. For some reason this doesn’t provoke the same reaction as Iron Man learning that his weapons are being used by those terrorists. His entire ordeal makes him realize that he is making money off of misery and that he needs to stop selling his weapons. His weapons are being used to kill Americans! I guess the Afghans weren’t quite as important nor were the Japanese civilians killed by the atom bomb his dad made (in the storyline, his father worked on the Manhattan Project). This didn’t sit well with me at all because I felt that the lives of Afghan and perhaps all Muslims were being devalued. Shouldn’t his epiphany had come first by realizing the damage caused to Afghan civilians?

Iron Man does later feel some guilt when he sees an Afghan village being held hostage by those terrorists and he decides to use his Iron Man getup to kill the terrorists (the scene I referred to earlier) and save the villagers. I had two issues with this scene. The first is that this scene just completely glosses over the West’s, including America’s role, in the conflict and subsequent suffering in Afghanistan. It’s the terrorists who are ultimately the bad guys. Second, the scene reinforced the whole idea of the white man’s burden. Iron Man is the savior. He has to save Afghans from the brutish international mixture (apparently some of the terrorists spoke Hungarian too-what a joke!) of terrorists. No matter what people of color will always have to rely on America and her goodness. This is the wrong message to send to our children, especially in a world where we will all have to become more culturally aware of everyone.

I appreciate Iron Man’s anti-war, anti-weapons message (although even this isn’t without trouble since various conflicts in the film are still solved through violence and weapons). However, I do wish the message was delivered in a way that had more respect for Afghans and Muslims. For all of its liberal, anti-war messages, Hollywood still has a long way to go in giving more human and more accurate portrayals of Muslims and people of color.

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Whiteness among Muslims

As I was going through a thread on an Islamic board, a user posted a link to a video of a convert on hajj. I have to be honest and say that I wasn’t quite sure why she was chosen to profiled. However, one thing that I noticed about the convert immediately was her race. The convert profiled was white and female. The video brought back a thought that I have had for a long time now and that is white converts are coveted among Muslims while black converts are take for granted and increasingly ignored.

As I think about white converts who are given much attention among Muslims and non-Muslims, most of them seem incredibly un-extraordinary. I can often think of no reason why they have gained the positions they have or the attention they have other than their whiteness. An example is Yvonne Ridley. I read her articles and I’m often left underwhelmed. One reason is because much of what she writes is not very original. What she is saying has been said for decades now by Black, Arab, South Asian, and Asian Muslims. Muslims have spoke for years about Western imperialism and its impact on the Muslim world. So why is the message suddenly different when it is delivered by her?

Now, I know Muslims will constantly speak of the racial equality that Islam advocates and say how Muslims were light years ahead of others in the racial equality department. However, actions speak louder than words. The actions of Muslims has made me wonder if, as a whole, we’re no better than whites who claim they are colorblind and brag about their black friends yet still would not want a black person to marry their child. In other words, are we being hypocrites in regards to race?

It seems that most of us are unwilling to critically look at how we treat black and white converts. When a white Muslim accepts the deen, it’s seen as such a great achievement. I think this is because in the minds of a lot of Muslims of color, white converts are a big “slap in the face” to the white, non-Muslim world that has oppress Muslim societies for centuries. At the same time, it’s a way to gain more legitimacy among mainstream societies. I suppose that’s why we have immigrant masajid that allow white ex-felons who have no formal training but speak some Arabic give khutbahs. I can tell you right now that there are plenty of black ex-felons who learned Arabic while in prison too but they will not be allowed to be the khatib at immigrant masajid. White reverts are given speaking engagements at various Muslim conferences, even if they no expertise in any Islamic field and even if they speak down to their audiences. We love hearing about they accepted the deen. We make them the faces and voices of various Muslim organizations that claim to speak for all Muslims in America.

Black reverts, however, are seen as incredibly commonplace. They’re taken for granted and even looked down upon. An immigrant recently told my husband to be careful of Muslims in our neighborhood because they beg. Can you imagine this being said for white Muslims or other non-black Muslims for that matter? Black Muslimahs are seen as being good for running “the mosque daycare” while Black Muslim men are seen as being good for maintaining the mosque.

I do not want to make it seem as if I don’t like white Muslims or that I think white people should not become Muslim. That is not the case at all. However, I think that white Muslims should be seen no differently from other Muslims in the ummah. We should all be equal.

We need to careful about issues of race in the ummah. We’re doing what is being done in mainstream society. We’re making ‘whiteness’ exceptional while belittling everyone else. We are recreating white privilege. This harms not only black Muslims but other Muslims of color as well as white Muslims. It makes it harder for Muslims of color-black, Arab, South Asian, and Asian- to be judged on their merit and it places a burden on white Muslims who are put on a pedestal. It ultimately dilutes the racial equality that we all claim to be so proud of, the racial equality that is actually religious duty for us all.

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