Hubby always gets the best tips. So in another e-mail forwarded to me by him, there was a little article from the Arab News about how the vice cops in Saudi “saved” a woman from a guy who was blackmailing her by threatening to lie about an “illicit affair”. While it’s nice to nab a blackmailer, the article didn’t quite sit right with me. Why was this particular case so noteworthy? Surely, the blackmailer in question isn’t the only one running around in the KSA and I imagine there must be more than a few blackmail victims, male and female in Saudi. The article almost seemed like a promo for the vice police, the same vice police who wouldn’t let female students leave a burning building because they weren’t properly covered. It’s kinda like a covert apology for them: “See, what would those damsels in distress do without the vice cops? They would taken advantage of by those bad men. So the vice police are actually good for women!” Right. The Mutaween couldn’t ask for better press.

Living in the US, it can be hard to find a place to pray and also feel comfortable. There was a prayer room on campus but if I wasn’t on that side of campus, it was rather difficult to access. That presented a dilemma when I was at work on the other side of campus. So I usually prayed in the lounge since it was rarely used. But, I always felt so “secretive” about it. I would close all the doors so no one would see me and then pray. I never resorted to praying in the restroom (see below) but yeah, it was hard. When the lounge was in use, I would go to a little classroom in the building. There were times though when they were both in use at the same time and that presented even more of a dilemma. *ugh* Habibi sent me a funny video about that titled Forbidden Love. I embedded it below.

Lately, I’ve been getting really stupid comments from butt munches who don’t even have the guts to post under a pseudonym, let alone, their real name. So from now on, no more anonymous comments on this blog. If you want to post in the future, please have an Open ID or a blogger ID. Sorry for the inconvenience. BTW, this is only effective for this blog, not Muslimnista.

I finally wrote a new post for Muslimnista on a NY Times article that discusses how some European Muslim women are opting to have their hymen surgically restored before marriage and how virginity is still important in terms of marriage prospects . Sorry I abandoned the blog for so long. I never realized how hard it is to run two blogs! So please visit the blog by going to the link in this post and if you have any comments please post them there and not here. I’m really trying to get Muslimnista back up and running.

My husband sent me an article about a Saudi woman who is divorcing her husband after 30 years of marriage because he saw her face.

A 50-year-old Saudi woman asked for divorce after her husband lifted her face veil while she was sleeping, local press reported.

For 30 years, the wife said she never showed her face to her husband in conformity with the tradition of her native village near the south western Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt.

“After all these years, he tries to commit such a big mistake,” the wife told Saudi newspaper Al-Riyadh, after she left the house in total disbelief.

She said the husband apologized and promised never to do it again.

Another woman in the article didn’t show her face to her husband or children. I didn’t even know that there were women who did this. The niqabis I have encountered usually reveal their faces around their husbands and other women. I’m not quite sure what to say. I’m not going to give my knee jerk reaction to the article. I’m trying to remain a cultural relativist about this. I mean the practice doesn’t actually harm the woman, she wants her face to remain covered and who am I to find this practice wrong? I could say that this practice could be a way of controlling women’s sexuality but people say that about hijab as well. So I’m torn. I have to be honest and say that I find this repulsive in a way, especially when children can’t see their mother’s face. At the same time, I felt that the article focused mostly on what the husbands “lost”. There was more of a focus on men not being able to see their wives faces than on the autonomy of women to choose to cover their faces. There wasn’t any discussion about how beneficial this was to women and very little discussion on why they chose to do it besides “tradition”. While I was glad that the article pointed out that this practice isn’t obligatory among Muslim women I didn’t like the way it was done: “The practice of always remaining veiled, even in front of your husband, is not an Islamic practice but a very old tradition practiced by a minority of people in Gulf countries.” All veiling, including hijab, predates Islam. All veiling is an “old tradition”. This is not to negate what the Qur’an says about veiling. However, if we’re honest, the Qur’an is reinforcing a tradition that already existed in the Middle East for centuries. Why is this historical bit mentioned in this article? Is it because this practice denies husbands the opportunity to see their wives? Maybe I’m over analyzing but I did find it curious.

Alexis Crosby’s story is inspiration. She’s awesome. She comes from Glenville, an impoverished area of Cleveland. She’s graduating with both a diploma from Glenville High and an associate’s degree from Cuyahoga Community College. On top of that, she’ll be attending my alma mater and enter the Engineering school. Lord knows the engineering school needs more women and African Americans. Do the dang thing Alexis!

One of Glenville High School’s academic stars graduates today.

Honor student Alexis Crosby, who’s No. 1 in her class, will join 190 classmates as they receive diplomas at the ceremony at the Allen Theater.

What makes the 17-year-old resident of Cleveland’s Glenville neighborhood special is she pulled off an educational feat: Less than three weeks ago, she received an associate’s degree from Cuyahoga Community College. She simultaneously attended Glenville and Tri-C.

“She’s a wonderful role model,” said Jerry Sue Thornton, president of Cuyahoga Community College. “People talk about role models being in various arts and sports, but she’s a real role model for young people in terms of what academic and community service can yield for them.”

Salaam! I’ve been a bit busy as of late so I haven’t had a lot of time to post this week. Insha’Allah, I’ll have a new post up this weekend. Until then I wanted to share the link to some of my graduation pictures. You already see one. The link to the rest is at the end of the post.

On to Obama. I’m happy that the nod is pretty much official now. Honestly, I never thought I would see a black person be the nominee of any major party in my lifetime. I was watching BBC News last night, and a commentator, a professor at American University, pointed out how 45 years ago, Obama wouldn’t have been to even vote for himself in some states. It kinda hit me then. Like “Damn! A Black person has a serious chance at the White House.” Of course, we still have quite a ways to go when it comes to race in the States but last night definitely shows how far we have come. I spoke to my mother last night and asked her about the speech and she said a bit skeptically “We’ll see what he does.” I wonder how many people share her sentiment. I think it’s a healthy attitude to have. I still would like Obama to have a more moderate position on Palestine and I definitely hope that Obama proves to be much more liberal in supporting domestic social program than Bush could ever dream. So I’m happy but still waiting.

I’m not quite sure what to make of Hillary’s speech. I don’t think she’s going to contest the delegate count (I hope). Maybe she’s eying the VP spot but I really don’t see the Obama camp wanting her for VP after all the “hardball” (as one commentator put it) her campaign played with Obama’s. I guess we’ll see what she’s up to in the weeks ahead.

Lastly, links:

I Colonize via Racialicious: Definitely expressed my view on gentrification. I live in a neighborhood on the East side of Cleveland that is rapidly gentrifying so the article hit close to home.

Young American Muslims Pioneer a New Dating Game via CS Monitor: Marriage among American Muslims seems to be a hot topic for the media lately. I’m not quite sure why. Honestly, courtship among 2nd and 3rd generation Muslims reflects the type of courtship that use to occur in Western societies around the 18th and 19th centuries. Maybe that’s why? I’m thinking about writing a critique about this. We’ll see.

Tiger Woods once again decides to not take a stand via AlterNet: *sigh* I don’t expect athletes to be activists but I do expect them to have some guts and to take a stand on some issues. I suppose Tiger is but one of many black athletes, including Michael Jordan, who decide that endorsements and money are more important than standing for justice. Anyone remember when Jordan didn’t say a word when it was discovered that his famous shoes that sell for around $150 a pair were being made in sweatshops by workers making around $2.00 a day? Tiger’s new deal with Chevron reminds me of that. Oh wait, Tiger also has an endorsement deal with Nike. Go figure.

So at this point, I open the thread to the reader. Post your thoughts links on any of the topics above or whatever else you like.

Graduation

This past week, I was going through my daily Google Reader morning session (ah, the joys of not having class for the moment) and saw Tariq Nelson’s post on marriage among American Muslims. In Muslim circles, especially traditional, conservative ones, marriage is talked about a lot and talked about pretty early. One problem that is starting to occur among American Muslims though is unstable marriages and this has also gotten more attention in Muslim circles. The Muslim Alliance of North America (MANA) has a task force dedicated to creating healthier marriages among African American Muslims. The post I referenced earlier discusses a Washington Post article that discusses the difficulties in the marriage system of American Muslims. For instance, how do you get to know a prospective spouse without “dating”?

As I read the comments on Tariq’s blog, I was disturbed by some comments which suggested that marriage is for sex and that love shouldn’t play a role in Muslim marriages. For these commentators, marriage served primarily as a legal outlet for sex and nothing else. One commentator even went so far as to say: “Our ulamaa have told us that the object of marriage is permissible sex and this is the meaning of “love” when it comes to marriage.” I have to beg to differ with any scholar or Muslim who thinks this is the only objective of marriage. Yes, sex is part of marriage but is it the primary objective? Love has been part of marriages in the Muslim world since the time of the Prophet (saws) until the present. Allah acknowledges the love between spouses in 30:21. The Prophet (saws) had much love for his wives. The Taj Mahal is one of the greatest testimonies to love. Many of Umm Kulthum’s songs are about love, both fulfilling and heartbreaking. Love has been part of the Muslim world just as it has been part of the Western world.

The view that marriage is a contract that allows a man to fulfill his sexual urges reeks of sexism and even misogyny because it objectifies women and turn them into sex objects not worthy of actual, meaningful adult relationships. In fact, it’s harmful to men as well. This view of marriage dehumanizes both partners. There are animals who have monogamous, sexual relationships. If marriage is nothing more than that then how are we different from them? This view of marriage reduces marriage to nothing better than casual sex made on a more frequent basis. It’s a view of a marriage that I wholeheartedly reject and that I urge other Muslims to reject as well.

I’ve been married for two years and I see my marriage as a partnership. My husband is my life partner. He is my best friend. There is so much more to my marriage than sex. I knew from the beginning that I needed a partner who I could talk to about the deen, philosophy, politics, music, whatever. I needed someone for more than sex. Yes, love managed to get into the equation. I love my husband. No, it’s not un-Islamic, it’s not Western. I think it’s a beautiful and it’s the glue to not only my relationship but numerous relationships around the globe in every culture, Muslim and non-Muslim.

This stationmaster is too cute!

In times of need, Japanese say they can even ask the cat for help. In this town in western Japan, people look to Tama, a nine-year-old cat working as master of an unmanned train station.

The tortoiseshell coloured creature, born and raised at Kishi Station on the provincial Kishigawa Line, wears a formal uniform cap of Wakayama Electric Railway and calmly watches passing passengers who greet her.

The company feeds her in lieu of salary.

Tama was born from a stray cat brought to the station by a cleaner and kept by Toshiko Koyama, a local who runs a grocery store next door.

The station went unmanned in April 2006 as the line was losing money. But Tama stuck around.

She rose to national stardom in January 2007 as the railway company formally appointed her as “stationmaster”.

Her appointment had an immediately positive effect, boosting the number of passengers using the line in January by 17 percent from a year earlier.

For the year to March 2007, the number of passengers rose to 2.1 million, up 10 percent from the previous 12 months, according to Yamaki.

Adorable, ain’t she?